Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
