is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize