that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize