She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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