just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Randomize
