Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
