btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
