please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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