he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
