do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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