I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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