It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
