do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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