Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
