so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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