HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
