i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
