i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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