This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
