So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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