Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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