Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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