No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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