I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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