I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize