She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
