This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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