what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
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