No stitches, just platelets and will power
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
