Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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