Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
