i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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