real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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