p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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