apparently the secret to your success is patron
I forgot how hot balto sounded
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
