i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
