Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
