She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize