If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
