at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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