it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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