He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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