dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
