i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Drake has all the answers
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
