Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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