: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
