hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
