I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
