She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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