i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
