You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
