It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
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