Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
