i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I puked a lego.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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