you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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