I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
