I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
