32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
