we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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