what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
